That's unsurprising. I still remember when the trailer came out, people were already negative about Iris and Barry/Iris too (when I thought they looked super cute). I imagine Iris fans had to be on the defensive immediately. I have to admit, part of the reason I didn't watch is because I didn't trust the show runners to not inevitably sideline her. It's good you were able to stay away from the drama! I've seen my fair share and I like to stay on the outskirts of fandom these days because of it. :)

People tend to assign family roles very quickly even when characters aren't related and have never expressed familial feelings toward one other and then try to claim it is like "incest" when others try to ship them. A lot of time, as you said, it is due to shipping wars and getting the other ship "out of the way".