The Only Real Friend I Ever Knew
May. 3rd, 2009 05:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tellshannon815Title: The Only Real Friend I ever Knew
Characters: Walt, Locke, Hurley, Miles, Vincent. Mentions of Michael, Susan and Brian.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up through S5 plus speculation about future episodes. Also I haven't seen The Variable yet, so any errors are for that reason.
Summary: Walt returns to the island just as the Incident sends those who were in 1977 back to the present, and struggles to deal with the fact that Locke and Hurley lied about Michael's death.
The one thing Walt had always liked about Mr Locke was the way he’d always treated him as an adult, rather than the child Michael saw him as.
He remembered the day after they’d first crashed on the island, how Locke had told him of the miracle that had happened to him. One day he’d been in a wheelchair, the next he’d been able to walk again. Anyone else would have told Walt that that wasn’t possible, but when Locke had said it, Walt had instantly believed him.
Walt had always thought that the two of them had understood one another, always had an honest relationship with each other.
But now, as he stood before Mr. Locke on his return to the island, Walt realised that that wasn’t true after all.
“You knew, didn’t you?” Walt asked as he fixed the older man with a glare. “That day you came to see me in New York. You knew that my dad was dead and you didn’t tell me.”
Locke nodded sadly. “Yes, I knew.”
“So why didn’t you say anything?” Walt demanded.
“I couldn’t,” Locke explained. “You’d been through so much already with your mother, the Others, having to adjust to a new life after getting off the island…I couldn’t do it.”
“So you lied to me.” Walt stated tonelessly.
Locke didn’t say anything in response to this.
“You lied to me,” Walt repeated. “Did you think I couldn’t deal with it? You know something?” he continued without waiting for an answer. “I always looked up to you, because I thought you treated me like an adult. But you’re just treating me like a child, juts the same as everyone else always does.” He turned and began to walk angrily away.
“Walt!” Locke struggled to his feet. “Walt, wait!”
But Locke turned around briefly, yelled “Leave me alone!” before turning his back on his former friend and running blindly up the beach.
He didn’t even know why he felt so surprised that Locke had lied. After all, just about every other adult in his life up to that point had lied to him as well.
Take his mother, Susan. She’d been lying to Walt by omission pretty much his entire life.
Walt had always known that Brian Porter wasn’t his biological father. Brian had always been pretty insistent on the point, actually, preferring that Walt called him by his given name rather than “Dad.” Susan hadn’t liked it, but she’d never forced the issue.
He’d never given a lot of thought to the man who was his birth father. He’d asked Susan once when he’d had to create his family tree for a school assignment, and she’d admitted that Walt’s real father was a man named Michael Dawson. But she’d never said any more about him than that. “Brian’s your father, Walt,” Susan used to say. “He’s the man that brought you up. He chose to adopt you, Walt, because you’re special.”
Walt hadn’t questioned that. Besides, his biological father hadn’t ever tried to contact him at any time. He wasn’t a part of Walt’s life, and he wouldn’t ever be again.
It wasn’t until after Susan died that Walt found out that actually, none of this was true.
He still didn’t really understand why Susan had kept Michael’s letters from him all these years. The day Michael had given them to him, he’d said something like “She didn’t throw them away, which means that somewhere inside, she wanted you to have them.” Maybe Susan was worried that if Walt had built up a relationship with Michael, it would end up affecting his relationship with Brian. Walt didn’t know. But he did know that he would have liked the option of being able to decide for himself whether he wanted Michael in his life. He wanted his “penguin with a sunburn” cards.
That day on the raft, when Walt had asked Michael why he’d never visited, and Michael had said it was because Susan didn’t want him to, Walt had replied “She was wrong.”
He’d said that even with some knowledge that Michael was a liar himself.
That first day they’d met in Sydney, Michael had said that Brian still loved Walt, but that it had been Michael’s choice to take him back to New York. And he’d told Walt that Brian had said he could take Vincent with him, but when Walt mentioned it later in front of Brian, Brian had just looked confused. He hadn’t said Walt couldn’t take Vincent, though, so Walt hadn’t worried about it, until they arrived at Sydney airport.
Walt didn’t ever say anything to Michael. But he’d heard every word of what Michael had said on the phone to his mother, about how he didn’t see how he could be a father to Walt, how he’d offered his mother money to pay for Walt’s upbringing. And he’d finally known that actually, both of the father figures in his life were liars, that neither of them had wanted to be a father to him, after all.
Well, that was fine, he’d thought at the time. He didn’t want Michael, either. He didn’t need this man who didn’t understand him, who didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself.
He had Mr. Locke for a friend, anyway. Mr. Locke took him seriously, treated him like an equal rather than a child.
Or at least, he always had until now.
Had they really all not told him because they thought he couldn’t deal with it? Or was there another reason why they’d lied to him, a reason that wasn’t really about Walt at all?
Walt didn’t know. But coming towards him was someone who would.
Hurley approached him, wearing some strange-looking overalls and wandering as if in shock. He stared at Walt as though not really seeing him, started saying something that didn’t make a lot of sense. He was talking about what year they were in, where was something called DHARMA and what the hell just happened anyway?
But Walt wasn’t interested in that. “Why’d you lie to me, Hurley?” he demanded.
Hurley stared at Walt with an uncomprehending frown. “What?”
“John said he didn’t want to tell me about my dad because he didn’t want to put me through any more,” Walt continued. “And I can kinda believe that he was trying to protect me. But you - you were just trying to protect yourself, weren’t you?”
Hurley didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at him.
“You looked me in the eye and told me my dad had stayed behind on the island. You let me think he was still alive here so I’d go along with your stupid cover story. You lied to me to protect yourselves.”
Hurley found his voice at last. “Dude, it wasn’t like that…”
But Walt cut him off. “Save it, Hurley. I don’t wanna hear any more of your lies!” he yelled before turning and running from him the same way he had run from Locke.
“That’s right, kid,” a new voice spoke sardonically. “Let it all out.”
Walt spun around in the direction of the voice. The man who had spoken was an Asian man, wearing similar overalls to Hurley’s, except that the name tag on this man’s overalls read “Miles: Security.”
“Who are you?” Walt asked.
Miles indicated his name badge. “I’m Miles.” He extended his hand, which Walt took briefly, reluctantly.
“Walt.”
Miles continued to regard Walt. “So what was all that about?”
Walt glared at him. “None of your business.”
Miles didn’t seem offended as he replied “You’re one of the ones who got off the island before, aren’t you? From what I’ve heard, all those of you who made it home did quite a bit of lying yourselves.”
Walt was silent, acknowledging the truth of this as he remembered the day he’d sat watching the footage of the Oceanic Six press conference, hearing everything said and not understanding why they were telling that story, yet having nobody he could talk to about it.
He remembered his struggle to get used to the new names he and his father had adopted after their arrival in New York, how telling the new backstory Michael had concocted for them never seemed to get any easier with each retelling.
And he remembered all those nights his grandmother had begged him to tell her exactly what had happened to him and Michael, why he woke up screaming every night, why he could no longer bear to have his father near him. Walt had never explained, a part of him still protecting his father at the last, a part of him thinking that this was one time he’d have felt better if his father hadn’t told him the truth, and not wanting to burden his grandmother with what he saw every night.
“Who are you, exactly?” he asked warily. “And how did you get here?”
“I came to the island on a freighter,” Miles began, but Walt interrupted with “A freighter? Was it the same one my dad was on? Did you meet him?”
“Was his name K-” Miles checked himself, “Michael?”
Walt nodded, smiled for the first time since they’d started talking. “So you did know him.”
“Yeah, I met him,” Miles replied. “We were on the freighter together.”
“Did you talk to him much there?” Walt asked, watching Miles’s face intently.
“He kinda kept himself to himself a lot,” Miles considered. “But yeah, he did speak to me. He spoke to me about you, about how he missed you, he loved you, and he was sorry.”
“When’d he tell you all that?” Walt asked suspiciously, but Miles was saved from replying by the approach of Locke leading Vincent towards them.
“Hey, Walt. Look who I found,” Locke said.
“Vincent!” Walt yelled, running over to the Labrador and throwing his arms around his neck, burying himself in his fur. He thought about how Vincent had been the only one he could talk to after Susan died. Now he could talk to him about Michael, too. At last, Walt had the only friend he could ever trust back in his life.
Characters: Walt, Locke, Hurley, Miles, Vincent. Mentions of Michael, Susan and Brian.
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up through S5 plus speculation about future episodes. Also I haven't seen The Variable yet, so any errors are for that reason.
Summary: Walt returns to the island just as the Incident sends those who were in 1977 back to the present, and struggles to deal with the fact that Locke and Hurley lied about Michael's death.
The one thing Walt had always liked about Mr Locke was the way he’d always treated him as an adult, rather than the child Michael saw him as.
He remembered the day after they’d first crashed on the island, how Locke had told him of the miracle that had happened to him. One day he’d been in a wheelchair, the next he’d been able to walk again. Anyone else would have told Walt that that wasn’t possible, but when Locke had said it, Walt had instantly believed him.
Walt had always thought that the two of them had understood one another, always had an honest relationship with each other.
But now, as he stood before Mr. Locke on his return to the island, Walt realised that that wasn’t true after all.
“You knew, didn’t you?” Walt asked as he fixed the older man with a glare. “That day you came to see me in New York. You knew that my dad was dead and you didn’t tell me.”
Locke nodded sadly. “Yes, I knew.”
“So why didn’t you say anything?” Walt demanded.
“I couldn’t,” Locke explained. “You’d been through so much already with your mother, the Others, having to adjust to a new life after getting off the island…I couldn’t do it.”
“So you lied to me.” Walt stated tonelessly.
Locke didn’t say anything in response to this.
“You lied to me,” Walt repeated. “Did you think I couldn’t deal with it? You know something?” he continued without waiting for an answer. “I always looked up to you, because I thought you treated me like an adult. But you’re just treating me like a child, juts the same as everyone else always does.” He turned and began to walk angrily away.
“Walt!” Locke struggled to his feet. “Walt, wait!”
But Locke turned around briefly, yelled “Leave me alone!” before turning his back on his former friend and running blindly up the beach.
He didn’t even know why he felt so surprised that Locke had lied. After all, just about every other adult in his life up to that point had lied to him as well.
Take his mother, Susan. She’d been lying to Walt by omission pretty much his entire life.
Walt had always known that Brian Porter wasn’t his biological father. Brian had always been pretty insistent on the point, actually, preferring that Walt called him by his given name rather than “Dad.” Susan hadn’t liked it, but she’d never forced the issue.
He’d never given a lot of thought to the man who was his birth father. He’d asked Susan once when he’d had to create his family tree for a school assignment, and she’d admitted that Walt’s real father was a man named Michael Dawson. But she’d never said any more about him than that. “Brian’s your father, Walt,” Susan used to say. “He’s the man that brought you up. He chose to adopt you, Walt, because you’re special.”
Walt hadn’t questioned that. Besides, his biological father hadn’t ever tried to contact him at any time. He wasn’t a part of Walt’s life, and he wouldn’t ever be again.
It wasn’t until after Susan died that Walt found out that actually, none of this was true.
He still didn’t really understand why Susan had kept Michael’s letters from him all these years. The day Michael had given them to him, he’d said something like “She didn’t throw them away, which means that somewhere inside, she wanted you to have them.” Maybe Susan was worried that if Walt had built up a relationship with Michael, it would end up affecting his relationship with Brian. Walt didn’t know. But he did know that he would have liked the option of being able to decide for himself whether he wanted Michael in his life. He wanted his “penguin with a sunburn” cards.
That day on the raft, when Walt had asked Michael why he’d never visited, and Michael had said it was because Susan didn’t want him to, Walt had replied “She was wrong.”
He’d said that even with some knowledge that Michael was a liar himself.
That first day they’d met in Sydney, Michael had said that Brian still loved Walt, but that it had been Michael’s choice to take him back to New York. And he’d told Walt that Brian had said he could take Vincent with him, but when Walt mentioned it later in front of Brian, Brian had just looked confused. He hadn’t said Walt couldn’t take Vincent, though, so Walt hadn’t worried about it, until they arrived at Sydney airport.
Walt didn’t ever say anything to Michael. But he’d heard every word of what Michael had said on the phone to his mother, about how he didn’t see how he could be a father to Walt, how he’d offered his mother money to pay for Walt’s upbringing. And he’d finally known that actually, both of the father figures in his life were liars, that neither of them had wanted to be a father to him, after all.
Well, that was fine, he’d thought at the time. He didn’t want Michael, either. He didn’t need this man who didn’t understand him, who didn’t seem to care about anyone but himself.
He had Mr. Locke for a friend, anyway. Mr. Locke took him seriously, treated him like an equal rather than a child.
Or at least, he always had until now.
Had they really all not told him because they thought he couldn’t deal with it? Or was there another reason why they’d lied to him, a reason that wasn’t really about Walt at all?
Walt didn’t know. But coming towards him was someone who would.
Hurley approached him, wearing some strange-looking overalls and wandering as if in shock. He stared at Walt as though not really seeing him, started saying something that didn’t make a lot of sense. He was talking about what year they were in, where was something called DHARMA and what the hell just happened anyway?
But Walt wasn’t interested in that. “Why’d you lie to me, Hurley?” he demanded.
Hurley stared at Walt with an uncomprehending frown. “What?”
“John said he didn’t want to tell me about my dad because he didn’t want to put me through any more,” Walt continued. “And I can kinda believe that he was trying to protect me. But you - you were just trying to protect yourself, weren’t you?”
Hurley didn’t say anything, just continued to stare at him.
“You looked me in the eye and told me my dad had stayed behind on the island. You let me think he was still alive here so I’d go along with your stupid cover story. You lied to me to protect yourselves.”
Hurley found his voice at last. “Dude, it wasn’t like that…”
But Walt cut him off. “Save it, Hurley. I don’t wanna hear any more of your lies!” he yelled before turning and running from him the same way he had run from Locke.
“That’s right, kid,” a new voice spoke sardonically. “Let it all out.”
Walt spun around in the direction of the voice. The man who had spoken was an Asian man, wearing similar overalls to Hurley’s, except that the name tag on this man’s overalls read “Miles: Security.”
“Who are you?” Walt asked.
Miles indicated his name badge. “I’m Miles.” He extended his hand, which Walt took briefly, reluctantly.
“Walt.”
Miles continued to regard Walt. “So what was all that about?”
Walt glared at him. “None of your business.”
Miles didn’t seem offended as he replied “You’re one of the ones who got off the island before, aren’t you? From what I’ve heard, all those of you who made it home did quite a bit of lying yourselves.”
Walt was silent, acknowledging the truth of this as he remembered the day he’d sat watching the footage of the Oceanic Six press conference, hearing everything said and not understanding why they were telling that story, yet having nobody he could talk to about it.
He remembered his struggle to get used to the new names he and his father had adopted after their arrival in New York, how telling the new backstory Michael had concocted for them never seemed to get any easier with each retelling.
And he remembered all those nights his grandmother had begged him to tell her exactly what had happened to him and Michael, why he woke up screaming every night, why he could no longer bear to have his father near him. Walt had never explained, a part of him still protecting his father at the last, a part of him thinking that this was one time he’d have felt better if his father hadn’t told him the truth, and not wanting to burden his grandmother with what he saw every night.
“Who are you, exactly?” he asked warily. “And how did you get here?”
“I came to the island on a freighter,” Miles began, but Walt interrupted with “A freighter? Was it the same one my dad was on? Did you meet him?”
“Was his name K-” Miles checked himself, “Michael?”
Walt nodded, smiled for the first time since they’d started talking. “So you did know him.”
“Yeah, I met him,” Miles replied. “We were on the freighter together.”
“Did you talk to him much there?” Walt asked, watching Miles’s face intently.
“He kinda kept himself to himself a lot,” Miles considered. “But yeah, he did speak to me. He spoke to me about you, about how he missed you, he loved you, and he was sorry.”
“When’d he tell you all that?” Walt asked suspiciously, but Miles was saved from replying by the approach of Locke leading Vincent towards them.
“Hey, Walt. Look who I found,” Locke said.
“Vincent!” Walt yelled, running over to the Labrador and throwing his arms around his neck, burying himself in his fur. He thought about how Vincent had been the only one he could talk to after Susan died. Now he could talk to him about Michael, too. At last, Walt had the only friend he could ever trust back in his life.