The Ramblings Of A Creature Of Hobbit

House of the Dragon, Alicent/Rhaenyra, we could have had it all


Sometimes Alicent thinks about the future that could have been theirs, Rhaenyra the Queen, Alicent by her side as consort, ruling Westeros together; unconventional, she knows, and the Council would not have approved, but they would have made it work.

Now Alicent is trapped in her marriage to Viserys, and she watches Rhaenyra with Daemon, and thinks of how their closeness is lost to them. Pawns on the chessboard of men, she faces Rhaenyra from the opposing side, knowing this was never what she wanted.





Any, any, you came back wrong (Lost, Desmond/Sayid)

Everyone had tried to tell him that there was no hope; Sayid had not been the same since the Man in Black brought him back, he may be physically there in body but was emotionally dead.

Yet Desmond saw that spark of Sayid’s old feelings for him as their eyes met once again, as Sayid knew he was unable to pull the trigger as the Man in Black had requested. In that moment, Desmond knew there was hope after all, that he would be able to get through to Sayid.





Yellowjackets, any, floating out of their minds to find something better


In those first moments before she opened her eyes every morning, Jackie tried to tell herself that this was all just a nightmare. They’d made it to the finals and won, she got to be with her family again, Jeff was still her loving boyfriend and she was going to make damn sure they got elected homecoming king and queen; hell, even Shauna Shipman was still her best friend, her ride or die.

She tried to hold on to these images for as long as she could in her mind, before facing the reality of being stuck out there in the back of beyond, of knowing of Jeff and Shauna’s betrayal, of not knowing if she would ever see her family again.




Any, any, I’ve got no name at all (Lost, Smokey McSmokeFace)


The name that woman gave him now feels wrong to his ears, even though it’s the name he’s been going by all his life. Now that he knows Claudia is his real mother, and not that woman who had stolen him and raised him, he wonders what name she would have given him had she been given the chance to.

He won’t use the name the woman masquerading as his mother called him; he will never know what Claudia would have called him; his brother may be willing to maintain the name of Jacob that that woman had given him, but he feels like he has no name at all.




House of the Dragon, Aemond Targaryen, and I've been meaning to tell you / I think your house is haunted.



Sometimes he sees Lucerys appear to him; he’s tried asking Lucerys to appear to others in their family, to explain that he had lost control of Vhagar and had never intended for Vhagar to devour Lucerys; maybe then he would be believed.

Aemond had considered trying to tell his mother himself that the house was haunted, yet what had eventually dissuaded him from this course of action was the appearance of King Viserys; having seen him, Aemond was now aware that his mother had misinterpreted his father’s last words and had never intended for Aegon to take the throne.

If Aemond spoke now, Aegon would be removed, yet such a course of action would place Aemond himself several steps further back in the line of succession; Aemond still believed that he was more suited to rule than his brother, despite being the younger of the two, and if he kept his own counsel on the matter, it would be easier for him to take over himself when the time was right.




Historical RPF, any, careful what you wish for (Anne and Mary Boleyn, Henry VIII)



Anne had dismissed Mary’s remark that she should be careful what she wished for, as negotiations went on to request that the Pope grant the King a divorce from Queen Katharine. Anne had succeeded where Mary had failed; the King had put Mary aside, while he desired that Anne should become his bride, become Queen of England, the woman who would give him a son; it was natural that Mary may not have been happy for Anne.

Now as Anne lies awake in the Tower of London, awaiting her impending execution, she understands that her sister was right after all.




Any, Any, Fuck this shit, I'm out. (Larry the Cat and the revolving door of prime ministers)


It had been a relief when that messy haired tosser finally moved out; maybe now Larry the Cat would be able to get his full nap time in without Dilyn barking, children crying, drunken Whitehall inhabitants partying, or most likely all of the above.

As for Liz Truss, Larry had spent most of his time keeping out of her way, not wanting to be around her moods as yet another of her policies got panned by her own MPs as well as the British public; he was not surprised when the Daily Star’s lettuce outlasted her.

After the third housemate in as many months, and another Tory at that, dull as Sunak was, Larry had had enough of this shit and decided he’d be happier somewhere else with one consistent housemate.




any, any, now I know your heart, I know your mind / you don’t even know you’re being unkind (Yellowjackets, Shauna, Jeff, Jackie)

Shauna knew that Jackie really believed she was doing a good thing as she made the plans for their college life, that she was excited about the future and thought that Shauna and Jeff would be just as excited as she was.

She’d seen the look on Jeff’s face once when Jackie was planning something or other, and realised that he felt the same way she did, that Jackie didn’t even know, hadn’t even tried to find out, whether any of the things she was suggesting were what Shauna or Jeff actually wanted, and that if anything Jackie seemed to be dismissing their own opinions.

In that moment, Jeff looked at Shauna, and they both knew they understood each other.

Following recent Partygate developments where Bojo the Clown has been fined, Larry the Cat, the real prime minister, will be addressing this on my behalf:

It is a well known fact that cats like nothing more than to give their human housemates presents that said human housemates would prefer not to receive. Often, such presents will be mice; Larry still remembers his first attempt to offer such a present to his first human housemate, David Cameron. He’d tried it more than once with his current housemate, Boris Johnson, and still wished he’d managed to see the look on Dominic Cummings’s face when he’d opened his cardboard box and found the leaving present Larry had left him.

But Larry had better presents to give than mice. Since Boris Johnson and Rishi Sunak received their first fines during the police investigation into the Partygate scandal, they’ve tried to destroy the evidence by hiding their paper penalty notices in Larry and Gladstone’s litter trays. So Larry decided, and hoped Gladstone had the same idea, to quietly remove Boris’s when he wasn’t looking, wait until some journalist turned up to interview Boris, and drop the notice right at their feet. There were some things Boris couldn’t hide from.

Title: I'm Nobody's Pet
Character: Larry The Cat, UK's Chief Mouser of Downing Street
Word Count: 100
Prompt: pet
Rating: PG


Larry remembers the Camerons leaving Downing Street, how David had suggested he joined them only to be told that Larry came with the house. Theresa May’s moods over her Brexit deals had followed, then had come Boris Johnson and his house refurbishment, silly slogans, and most recently lockdown party scandals. Larry wouldn’t have wanted to go with any of them.

There’s rumours about whether Johnson will be forced to resign; if that happens, Larry wonders who his next housemate will be. But one thing’s for sure, whoever it is will have to understand Larry’s the real leader; he’s nobody’s pet.

So this latest UK government scandal over Bojo the Clown's flat refurbishment has given me the opportunity to revisit Larry Does Lockdown: Tales of the Downing Street Cats!


Larry had been too busy scrapping with Palmerston to take a lot of notice when Boris and Carrie first started the flat renovations, so he wasn’t sure who actually had paid for it. But one thing he did know, whoever it was that paid, they’d been done, because the flat was an eyesore and he actually preferred the “John Lewis furniture nightmare” of Theresa May and the more understated décor of the Camerons.

Foolish humans, Larry thought as he eyed his handiwork where he had shredded the wallpaper, clawed the upholstery, crapped on the carpet and knocked some of the more expensive ornaments to the floor. All that money they’d pissed away on so called refurbishments, and Larry had just done a much better job for free.

Yes, in trying to get my word count up for 2021, I had to finish this extract from Tales of the Downing Street Cats.






Larry’s sympathetic, of course, to all of those whose Christmas plans were derailed by his housemate. But at the same time, he can’t help but feel a bit sorry for himself, since Boris isn’t going anywhere this year and now he’s stuck with him (much to the amusement of Palmerston and Gladstone).

As he looks longingly at the boxes of toys for baby Wilfred who’s still too young to have much of a concept of Christmas anyway, and thinks of all the fun he’s going to have with the empty boxes once everything’s opened, Larry smiles as he imagines Boris’s reaction to the present of a dead mouse that he had left for him in place of the turkey that he had misappropriated with the intention of sharing with the other Downing Street felines.

Hey, at least it was a fresh dead mouse, unlike the one he’d left in Dominic Cummings’s box as a leaving present. No one could accuse Larry of not showing generosity at Christmas.

Because his departure meant I just had to revisit the tales of the Downing Street cats.

Title: Dominic Cummings's Leaving Present
Fandom: Real Cat Fiction
Characters: Larry the Cat
Rating: G
Warnings: Contains Dominic Cummings :D
Summary: Larry the Cat takes charge of Cummings's leaving present.

Officially the departure of Dominic Cummings was regarded as very sudden among many in Downing Street; Larry the Cat knew he wasn’t alone in feeling that actually, it was long overdue and he should have been out the door when the “lockdown trip to Durham” scandal broke.

Someone had asked whether anything was going to be done about a leaving present, to which the only response so far had been “Are you taking the piss?”

Not to worry, Larry thought, thinking of the dead mouse he had hidden in the cardboard box before Cummings took all his stuff away. He’d taken care of that.

Title: Meow-Nifesto
Fandom: Real Cat Fiction
Characters: Larry the Cat, Palmerston the Cat, Gladstone the Cat
Rating: G
Warnings: Current events, but a way to make them bearable by having cats run the UK
Summary: As Boris Johnson's approval ratings slump, the Downing Street cats plan to take over.

( Read more... )

Yes, I have gone back to Real Cat Fiction, telling the tales of our government through the eyes of the Downing Street cats.

Title: Staying Alert
Fandom: Real Cat Fiction
Characters: Larry the Cat
Rating: G
Summary: When Boris Johnson tells the nation to stay alert, Larry catches him not practicing what he preaches.

A lot of people had said that Boris Johnson had been napping on the job at the beginning of the pandemic, even though, as a cat, that was meant to be Larry’s department. Watching him now snoozing on the couch in Downing Street (even if he had to admit that the 1979 FA Cup Final wasn’t exactly riveting viewing), Larry could see their point.

He tiptoed towards the couch, waited until he heard a particularly loud snore then launched himself right at Boris’s head.

Don’t know why he’s getting so mad, Larry thought as he was ordered out of the room. He’s the one who just showed he can’t even follow his own advice to the country to stay alert.