There's A Grief That Can't Be Spoken
Aug. 6th, 2010 11:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
tellshannon815Title: There's A Grief That Can't Be Spoken
Characters: Michael, Jin
Pairing: Michael/Jin
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to There's No Place Like Home, then totally AU after that
Summary: Written for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
crickets who requested Michael/Jin and "and then there were two" at ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
lostsquee Summer Luau. The explosion of the Kahana carries both Michael and Jin back to the island, but they are the only two to remain in their own time instead of moving with everyone else who was left behind.
When Michael had first opened his eyes, saw the island, and saw the smoky remains of what had once been the Kahana, he thought he had died and gone to hell.
“You can go now, Michael,” the strange man had said to him right before the Kahana had exploded, and Michael had thought that this would be it, the moment when he would move on. But when he awoke and looked around him to see the remains of their people’s camp, Michael had realised that he was never going to move on after all. The island was his own personal hell; he’d first suspected this when Libby had appeared to him on the freighter, and when he’d awoken and realised he hadn’t left the island behind (he should have known that as well, he thought, as soon as Tom came to him and told him the island wouldn’t let him kill himself) his suspicions had been confirmed. He’d tried to leave the island so many times, but he was always going to be brought back again. There was no escape from his past.
“Michael?”
Michael had turned around to see Jin running towards him, grabbing him by the shoulders.
“You okay?”
Michael’s first thought was to push him away, that he didn’t deserve his friend to be there for him after everything he’d done. But he realised that he couldn’t. As they both sat staring at the plume of smoke rising from the wreck of the freighter, Michael knowing that his last means of getting back to Walt were gone and that even if he could get back, Walt wouldn’t want to know him anyway ( Or maybe you wanna come back and explain to your kid how you let all of them die, too, that was what Tom had said) and Jin knowing that Sun was gone, that he was never going to get the chance to be the great father he could have been, Jin had still taken the time to reach out to Michael.
They didn’t know what had happened to the rest of the people from their camp, the ones who had never made it to the freighter. It was almost as if they’d all disappeared in smoke along with the boat. Michael and Jin had searched the island, searched for any trace of their people, but had found nothing more than Vincent’s old leash, an old inhaler that had once been Shannon’s, Aaron’s old crib.
They’d sat silently beside the fire most nights, neither of them seeming to know what to say to each other at first, yet gradually taking comfort in each other’s presence. Neither of them knew by that time how long they’d been sat there, or would remain there, but it helped them to be together. They’d been there for each other as Michael had wondered how Walt was coping back in New York, as Jin realised it must have been about the time that Sun was due to give birth. Neither of them had expected to be able to fill the holes that Walt and Sun had left, but both were determined to try.
They’d started sharing a tent for warmth at first, when winter came to the island, but over time they’d come to rely on each other. Both knew that the other could never make up for the absence of Walt, of Sun, yet at the same time, both knew that they were the only ones who could help each other at that time. Michael still kept half expecting something to happen, still believed that he didn’t really deserve Jin, expected that one day Jin would realise that too. And if Jin did leave him, he would have believed that he had got what he deserved.
But for now, they were still able to take comfort in each other.
Characters: Michael, Jin
Pairing: Michael/Jin
Rating: PG
Warnings: Spoilers up to There's No Place Like Home, then totally AU after that
Summary: Written for
crickets who requested Michael/Jin and "and then there were two" at lostsquee Summer Luau. The explosion of the Kahana carries both Michael and Jin back to the island, but they are the only two to remain in their own time instead of moving with everyone else who was left behind.When Michael had first opened his eyes, saw the island, and saw the smoky remains of what had once been the Kahana, he thought he had died and gone to hell.
“You can go now, Michael,” the strange man had said to him right before the Kahana had exploded, and Michael had thought that this would be it, the moment when he would move on. But when he awoke and looked around him to see the remains of their people’s camp, Michael had realised that he was never going to move on after all. The island was his own personal hell; he’d first suspected this when Libby had appeared to him on the freighter, and when he’d awoken and realised he hadn’t left the island behind (he should have known that as well, he thought, as soon as Tom came to him and told him the island wouldn’t let him kill himself) his suspicions had been confirmed. He’d tried to leave the island so many times, but he was always going to be brought back again. There was no escape from his past.
“Michael?”
Michael had turned around to see Jin running towards him, grabbing him by the shoulders.
“You okay?”
Michael’s first thought was to push him away, that he didn’t deserve his friend to be there for him after everything he’d done. But he realised that he couldn’t. As they both sat staring at the plume of smoke rising from the wreck of the freighter, Michael knowing that his last means of getting back to Walt were gone and that even if he could get back, Walt wouldn’t want to know him anyway ( Or maybe you wanna come back and explain to your kid how you let all of them die, too, that was what Tom had said) and Jin knowing that Sun was gone, that he was never going to get the chance to be the great father he could have been, Jin had still taken the time to reach out to Michael.
They didn’t know what had happened to the rest of the people from their camp, the ones who had never made it to the freighter. It was almost as if they’d all disappeared in smoke along with the boat. Michael and Jin had searched the island, searched for any trace of their people, but had found nothing more than Vincent’s old leash, an old inhaler that had once been Shannon’s, Aaron’s old crib.
They’d sat silently beside the fire most nights, neither of them seeming to know what to say to each other at first, yet gradually taking comfort in each other’s presence. Neither of them knew by that time how long they’d been sat there, or would remain there, but it helped them to be together. They’d been there for each other as Michael had wondered how Walt was coping back in New York, as Jin realised it must have been about the time that Sun was due to give birth. Neither of them had expected to be able to fill the holes that Walt and Sun had left, but both were determined to try.
They’d started sharing a tent for warmth at first, when winter came to the island, but over time they’d come to rely on each other. Both knew that the other could never make up for the absence of Walt, of Sun, yet at the same time, both knew that they were the only ones who could help each other at that time. Michael still kept half expecting something to happen, still believed that he didn’t really deserve Jin, expected that one day Jin would realise that too. And if Jin did leave him, he would have believed that he had got what he deserved.
But for now, they were still able to take comfort in each other.